Circle "Yes" or "No" to yourself...stop giving others the pen
As a kid I always needed to know why. I asked a lot of questions. There wasn't Google or wifi back in my day.
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If you wanted to know something you asked. So I asked questions all the time to any and everyone.
My father is a very scholarly man (he has several post graduate degrees...masters {plural} and an unrelated PhD). Daddy Warbucks values knowledge, dedication, and hard work.
So he wouldn't just GIVE me the answer(s) to ALL my queries.
Instead he gave me tools to figure things and life out.
Let me just tell you NO 7 years old little girl wants encyclopedias as gifts. Now an iPad for on the go and an iMac...yes please sign them up!
Daddy Warbucks even made me do book reports if he felt I needed to "learn" something related to a question I may have asked. Growing up I was conflicted that my father was half CRAY and half brilliant. To top it off my father is hilarious and incredibly kind.
My mama on the other hand is a therapist who began as a nurse so she's very optimistic and caring, YET rational. Rational and logical to the point where if your feelings are hurt easily she will slice and dice those bad boys then help you to process your emotions.
Talk about reverse psychology.
Holistic home life full of travel, rich education and experiences, but most importantly love. The good life.
Fast forward >>because life goes forward.
I was about to graduate college and decided I must go to graduate school because I knew I needed to put my dent in the world in a BIG way.
To get in grad school you have to write long essays convincing the board why you are a perfect fit. Crazy? I have to convince you to award me the opportunity to give you 60k on top of all the hard work I did in undergrad & passing the GRE with exceptional scores (the second time but who is counting-I only claim to be 85% awesome).
I applied to two universities, one for a PsyD program and one for a masters. I got into both programs. The PsyD program still wanted me to prove myself, I had to interview with the board.
Being the little girl that asked why and inquired about everything...I went in the interview asking them questions. My rationale was at this point to get a PsyD was $120,000, what could they offer me and why were they a good fit for making my dreams come true. I became the interviewer.
The board told me how amazing I was. I thought to myself DUH!!! Didn't they see my GPA, my essay was stellar, my GRE was short of perfect and my recommendations were God sends.
And then they asked me if I wanted to "try" the masters program because my “spunk and amazing” may just not be right for their program.
Immediately I wanted to tell them with all my “spunk” where they could go. However, I wasn't a fool. I asked why one last time.
The quietest board member told me sharply "hunay because no one in this room has the balls to tell you that they are scared to see what wonders you will do with their training that they haven't even managed to do."
That was the answer my hurting soul needed. I wasn't sad nor was I angry. I didn't know if she just said it to make me feel better because at this point I know my feelings were all over my face if not fleeting from my tear ducts. The other board members were trying to put on a poker face so I assumed she hit a nerve and was genuine.
"Thank you so much" I smiled as I left the room.
“I am thankful for all of those who said NO to me. It’s because of them I’m doing it myself.”
The next day I enrolled in the other university’s masters program.
Amazing decision: the professors were free and liberal thinkers. Pretty rare in the psychology field. I met two of my best friends/sisters. I couldn't imagine life without them. Those two years my life began. Not a career but my whole life began and I evolved.
To rewind for a second: (because we do that in life too-reflection is amazing when you pull the lessons learned out)
The board member that told me how awesome I was contacted me and offered me a position to consult for her private practice business. Between her and my at the time mentor they taught me everything I needed to know about running a business offline and the structures on top of essential training in psychology.
The PsyD program sent a letter a week after my interview saying I was accepted to their program with a two year scholarship.
I laughed.
3 Chic Tips To Mastery:
1. Say yes to yourself. Say yes to your dreams. Say yes to your happiness. Say yes. Don't leave it in anyone else's hands.
2. Ask questions. Ask google. Learn everything you can about the things that perplex you. Seek understanding from those that you KNOW can help you to get where you want to be. If you aren't sure if they can help...keep seeking until you know. Lies & confusion you can find on your own.
3. Shine bright!! Gatekeepers were designed to hold you back. When you choose yourself and say yes, it doesn't matter what they say or do.